I hate reading and watching the news. In the words of my kids’ pediatrician (an awesome doctor we all adore), according to the media, ugliness is interesting… happiness, in general, is not. And, in my words, it’s getting old that media tries to brainwash us to believe what they want us to believe.
Frankly, I look very warily at the “Jena 6″ saga in Louisiana. It’s one of a thousand things wrong in our little world in the U.S. today. Yes, those kids were wrong to put nooses on the tree. Yes, there was some wrongness in the convenience store incident the week before, when black kids took a gun away from a white kid threatening them with it (and then the black kids got charged with theft). BUT, here’s what’s wrong with the picture:
Let’s take color out of it. Say this was a group of kids, say a bunch of teenage girls. And, say one of the girls was different because she wore a purple hat every day, rain or shine. And the other girls, being bored in a smallish town, for some reason didn’t like the girl with the purple hat. In fact, most people liked her regardless of the purple hat or not. But these girls just got competely incensed by it. So they dug up something about her family’s past… like, say, one or her mother’s ancestors was burned at the stake as a witch in the Salem Witch Trials…. and they make a likeness of her in a scarecrow, then set up a stake and burn it in a very public place. And the girls do subtle things to her, like leave voodoo dolls in her locker, make sounds, talk about her and tell others that they saw her killing Farmer So-and-so’s chicken so she could use its blood for a sacrifice. The purple-hatted girl tells the school officials about all of this, and do they arrest them? No, as is often the case, they give the girls in-school suspension. The purple-hatted girl is really mad, so she gets 6 of her friends, finds of the group of these girls, and beats her up bloody. Here’s my question for you: What would you say should happen to the purple-hatted girl and her friends that were part of the beating? Yes, the purple-hatted girl was harassed, her life was made miserable by the group of girls. But did that make it OK for her to plan on beating up the girls, in essence become a vigilante? No, absolutely not. The law is the law. The original group played head games; the second one committed a premeditated act of violence. I would say the first group deserves school and parental intervention; the second deserves law intervention. Was either group right? Absolutely not, though yes, I’d feel badly for the purple-hatted girl. She likes purple hats…. so what? And so what, that an ancestor was (probably unrightfully) burned at the stake as a witch? It’s just a reason for someone to hate her; it gave the other girls something from which to work, without having to look at their own insecurities. HOWEVER, I would say that it DID NOT justify physical violence in retribution. The law is the law.
This is a huge problem we have. I am caucasian. I grew up on Long Island in NY, which is a melting pot of nationalities, races, and religions. I celebrate and enjoy our diversity — that’s what makes life interesting and colorful! And I hate bigotry. However, I’m tired of people USING their ethnicity, skin color, and/or religion as a shield against the law, or to get political, financial, and societal favors simply BECAUSE of it. It happens more and more these days.
What happened to us being the big melting pot? It seems we’ve been divided; with all the injustice in the world, we need stop acting like oil and water. And don’t fail to notice: I’ve met (yes, even here in the big, bad, nasty South) plenty of black people who are just as or even more prejudiced than any caucasian I’ve known. But their close-minded deeds aren’t pointed at; they’re applauded. Even when those close-minded deeds are just as bad (if not worse) than any caucasian bigot I’ve met. Pride, and slavery, you know.
Oh, please.
My husband and I have been so, so purposeful in bringing up our kids without prejudice, with open minds, and open hearts. We’ve not taught them that they can only like a certain type of person, due to genetic difference than ours. I was unduly proud when I found out (from my daughter’s Kindergarten teacher, mind you, not even from her) that her best friend at the time, a boy in her class, had cerebral palsy, and was a bit slower than everyone else, both physically and learning-wise (incidentally, he was black). One day, she refused to play with the rest of her friends because they were making fun of this boy. She took his hand, said, “____, don’t listen to them. Let’s go play somewhere else, without them.”
I was SSSSOOOOO proud when I heard about this incident from her teacher, and even prouder when I prodded my daughter, who just shrugged her shoulders and said, “Well, they were making fun of him. They’re just not friends, then. It’s not like he can help it.”
Did she get a handful of her most vicious and violence-loving Kindergarten friends to go and beat up those original “friends”? No. In fact, she instead spent productive time trying to integrate him in with them. She talked to the others, told him to give him a chance. And at the end of the year, I wouldn’t say he was the best of friends with the others, but they had hit a neutral ground.
So, we despeartely need to stop acting like sheep, and before we jump up to shout “WRONG!” about the inequities by some of people in the spotlight who play off of things like this, who are trying to further expand the chasm between people who are different in looks from each other, let’s look at where the inequities REALLY are. We were given a brain; let’s use it, instead of being told what to think! Look at the facts — NOT EMOTION — and THEN decide what you really think.
More on this to come; I’m just tired and need to go to sleep!
