Keeping up with the Nielsens?

So, we must all sit and have a moment in silence for deference to… the TV writers?

Seriously?

First of all, let me just say it right now — TV is generally junk. And most of the shows out there today are pretty much junk, written to lull us into a state of stupidity and superficiality. How much time have you taken out of your life to talk about Gabrielle and Carlos, and how they really belong together, even with all of the (ex-) marriage’s misgivings? Or how mad you are at Shonda Rimes and crew, because they started such a wonderful relationship in Meredith and Derek, got us hooked on Patrick Dempsey and Ellen Pompeo, and she/they have just torn it down to a wasteland of playing with viewers’ minds, giving everyone a glimmer of hope, and then just pulling it away? Yes, I admit it — I’m there, too, to some degree! But the saddest part is, our household is an oddity of today — we don’t ever have the TV on during the day/evening before the kids go to bed (which usually gives us about an hour a night), and only for a few hours every Saturday/Sunday morning, so they can watch the re-re-reruns of their favorite Nickelodeon shows (“Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?…”). And occasionally, a (previewed and preapproved) movie.

So, terrible enough — we won’t have any new shows to watch for awhile (maybe a LONG while). And the terrible part of that is… that we (as a society) might actually talk to each other? Get to spend time together as a family? Read the newspaper, read a book, play a game, maybe (:::gasp:::) go outside or go out and be a part of our communities? I sure as heck know what we WON’T be doing — tuning into the useless, lame, ridiculous reality shows that will continue to plague the airwaves — because THEY won’t be bothered by this strike. Yippee. That means more people will watch the junk that’s there, and then they’ll renew the junk, which turns into the continuing downward spiral.

And I’m sorry, network writers. That I don’t have more sympathy for you. In fact, I find it rather hysterical that some celebrities are out there with the strikers, giving them “support” (these are the people making thousands and thousands of dollars — some hundreds of thousands of dollars and more, even — for every episode they shoot in a series, so what kind of hardship will they “endure” by not shooting a few epis?). So, this is greed vs. greedier? Yes, I agree that the networks have gotten pretty big for their britches, but I’m sorry — the actors, writers, and executives live in La-La-Land:  “I want $2 million dollars for this, instead a measly $1 million, waaah, waaah, waaah…”

Don’t get me wrong. I understand the value of entertainment. But excuse me… can all of that money that’s not being paid to the writers and actors during this time of frivolous disagreements go to the homeless? To rebuild a community? the help aid the disadvantaged? I doubt it!

So, writers, go at it. Bring the greedier network execs to their knees. It might actually allow everyone to become de-mesmerized by the “Idiot Box” (as my father always called it) long enough for us to start paying attention to things (really) more important than if Meredith and Derek will ever get together… such as world events, the war, the upcoming presidential elections… and our kids/each other. Hey, if you must watch TV, anyway, rent “An Inconvenient Truth”!

OK, so stay with me here… What I ALSO find interesting is that this Hollywood writers strike is very coincidental to another looming eventuality in U.S. TV — the changeover to all digital, I think due to be put into effect by the end of 2008.

I know, I know — that’s a whole year away! But the last time the writers went on strike, in 1988, it lasted for more than 5 months, which takes us more than halfway to that digital eventuality. And preliminary projections say that this strike may last… well, awhile, anyway.

So… conspiracy theory???

Nah, I really don’t think so. But that’s something else we should all wake up and look at. Do you realize that after such a date, the industry is going to FORCE us to change over to digital, or — even worse — PAY to keep analog TV? Yep, you heard it, boys and girls — you will have to PAY to be able to use your existing non-digital TV sets. The question I have is, will they also continue to make you pay for digital TV, too? The way they make you pay to have BASIC stations, because there’s really no such thing as using bunny ears anymore?What a racket! They just love to hypnotize us, and slip this stuff in!

And for everyone who doesn’t think this “hypnotizing” is actually happening, there are many, many studies that have shown that the soporific effects of TV actually temporarily lower viewers’ IQs.

Hey, if you really want some irritating giggles that make you think, watch the movie “Idiocracy.” On the surface, it seems dumb, dumb, dumb, but it really says SO much, and the more I thought about it, the more I thought, you know, it could happen…

Seriously. Watch it for yourself! Hey, after the holidays, there won’t be any new shows on for awhile… and this will make you think…. about the fact that maybe TV shouldn’t be so central in everyone’s lives.

Feeling Solitary

You know, I feel like writing here today, but when my mind wandered to a subject matter, it just continued to… wander. Several different subjects popped up in my head, but I couldn’t really decide on one. And then, I thought of a recurring theme…

 Oh, yeah… solitude… as in part of my blog’s name…

I’ve become quite accustomed to it, since I left my corporate job to focus on my own business early last year. And don’t get me wrong — I’m crazy busy all the time, but my solitude and internal thoughts make me crazy. It’s different now than it used to be. I used to always be surrounded by people. Now I’m surrounded by plants, and though in constant contact with people, it’s much more at a distance than it used to be. Because now, I’m the business owner, and a lot of my contact is with customers. I don’t really have the camaraderie that I had when I worked WITH people, without them being a CUSTOMER. And the people I encounter now are generally MUCH different than those with whom I’m most comfortable. You know, though I KNEW that on paper (theoretically) before, I didn’t REALLY understand that until maybe 6 months ago. And it will continue to be so, even when I hire people. Because then, no matter how well we get along, I will always be the BOSS, which puts up a wall of sorts. And that’s funny, too, because I was a BOSS for most of my corporate life, but that was different. I wasn’t the TOP BOSS, or owner, president, whatever. That makes a difference.

So I feel a bit lonely, I guess. This is pretty hard for an extrovert, as I am! Actually, it’s killing me!!!!  AAAGGGHHH!!!

That’s just so funny for me to write. Because besides the business, I’m married and have 2 kids; I also help with the marketing for our Tae Kwon Do school, and am in constant contact with the people there (as well as in class and teaching class constantly). And really, I’m around and talking with people all the time.

Does that make sense?

The good part is, I’ve really gotten to know myself, and I think I’ve really developed my inner sense of the universe. I definitely have evolved. It’s just that I’ve discovered that I really don’t have anyone to discuss it with anymore. Isn’t that strange? I thought that people with whom I used to be “close” were really my friends — we had many of the same thoughts, values, and dreams. But when I actually decided to bite the bullet and actually  follow my dream, it was like… well, it was like I quickly became disassociated from them. Like I’d done something forbidden. Or, probably in reality, I just left their public eye, and it was too hard to try to keep in touch, because there’s too much in everyone’s lives to keep up-to-date.

My husband, as much as I love him, only understands parts of me. Well, a large part of me. But not all, and there are things he really doesn’t understand about what I’m thinking and how I feel about certain things. Plus, he’s in my every day life, and quite honestly, I really sometimes need to vent to someone because he makes me crazy (as all spouses will do). And there are times I need to run my irritation by someone outside of the homefront, to get an outside perspective about it.

I’m close with my retired mother, but she is sometimes of a very different mindset than me. She’s had three marriages over the years, and none that I would call solid, long-term relationships (I don’t think any of the three lasted for more than five years). And we approach things very differently in life — she’s very fixed, very habitual, very happy with being comfortable. I never have been. I always want to move on, do something new, evolve, get to the next level. If it doesn’t work, toss it and move on. We’re very close, but there’s sometimes a lack of understanding about stuff. And she’s my mother — there’s just a line, know what I mean? Different points in life, too.

And my husband is sometimes a lot like my mother. He really doesn’t have the burning desire for forward movement that I do, of carving new paths. I’m always thinking about four steps ahead of where I am now, and he’s just thinking of… well, now. Don’t get me wrong – he loves adventure, and does like problem solving, but he just can’t see past the moment, really. And his mantra is, if it works, why fuss with it? Sometimes he’d rather put 10 Band-Aids on something instead of just fixing it. That just makes me BONKERS, because often it ends up wasting a lot more time and money than if it were just fixed in the first place. And it seems that he’s sort of in la-la land more often than I’d like him to be. In reality, I think he’s always been like that, but I was too distracted to notice. Now it bugs me, because it takes nothing short of me having a complete meltdown for him to engage sometimes.

Plus, he’s not a puzzle thinker, like I am. I think of the “four steps ahead” thing as a puzzle-like capability. That was a part of my former profession — how to put the pieces of the puzzle together to make the whole program work.

So, I guess in my former corporate world, I made many acquaintances with like minds, and I felt satisfied that way. I guess I thought I would always have that, and I was really surprised at how quickly I was “removed” from it. Oh, sure, lunches for awhile afterwards, but it tapered off. Now, there’s only 2-3 people I see with any regularity, and it’s typically for lunch, about once a month. The few friends I have left from over the years are spread out around the country, and once or twice a year doesn’t really quench that need for a comrade.

So, what to do?

I don’t know. I guess that’s my point. It’s not like I don’t have people around me, but we mostly keep each other at an arm’s length. I don’t have any friends anymore that I would just call to BS with any regularity, ponder some point about life, and then be fulfilled and move on with my day. Also, I don’t feel like I get really rich information introduced to chew on from outside of my world… I love to turn over new information, chew it up, process it, debate it, and come to some kind of conclusion. I can only run the wheel by myself for so long. Where I think I’ve become much more focused, it seems those around me have become much more distracted.

There was a very, very longtime friend I had over the years (I think it’s about 24 years since I’ve known him), who was my best, best, BEST friend of all time. Because in many ways, we were very like minded, but we were different enough to challenge each other constantly. I LOVED the mental sparring! Kept me cutting edge. And we had been through SO MUCH together, growing up and all. We were close all the way up until… well, maybe 7 years ago? It sort of faded out. But a chunk of our friendship dissolved after I eloped with my husband 13 years ago, and then even moreso when I had children 11 years ago. The downfall of the male-female FRIENDSHIP, I guess. It wasn’t that my husband cared — he got along fine with my friend — but my friend was obviously harboring OTHER hopes that I’d not much considered, as much as I loved him, because he was more like my BROTHER than anything else –  and I think playing with that fire with someone who knows you THAT well, and vice versa, can be more detrimental than When Harry Met Sally ever explored! So, he got more and more bitter and obnoxious, and finally, we just sort of lost touch, to vaguely reconnect again a few years ago. And now, it’s about once a year (if that) when we speak, and there’s now a wall there, too.   I miss him!

And now, my husband — after being with him for 15 years — gets a little put out every time I speak with my friend. I’m not sure why, but he gets a little paranoid and a little jealous for awhile every time we speak (which in that respect, is lucky is not so often). There’s nothing new he knows now that he didn’t know back then, so that puzzles me.  

But anyway, it’s strange. I’m not sure where I am. I’m not sure how to remedy this. I don’t want to go back to the corporate world, because I really like what I’m doing now — creating MY OWN corporate world. But I guess I’m sorta lost. And, as I have always been the shoulder for many, the one many come to with their problems and questions, I find I have no one who can be my shoulder, or even just my comrade. It’s very sad to me that this blog is the only place I can express these thoughts, which I think is a large part of why I created it in the first place.  Yet, I’m not saying I’m pitying myself — there’s no time for pity in this world, especially self-pity, because it’s useless – I’m just feeling a bit lonely and needing to unload somewhere.

So, why not here?